


To Each their Eden

by QueenPotatos



Category: SK8 the Infinity (Anime)
Genre: Angst, Dysfunctional Relationships, M/M, Written after episode 9, everyone thinks their love is unrequired, the explicit part is only for Tadashi / Adam, they do sort things out though
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-13
Updated: 2021-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-21 03:00:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,312
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30015108
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenPotatos/pseuds/QueenPotatos
Summary: “I don’t care about what you think. This is my tournament.” Adam turns back to Snake. “You’ll step down as I ask you to, damn dog.”Joe frowns, his hunch needs some ajustement it seems. “Are you so scared of losing to him?”“Ha! Not a chance!” He replies on the stop.“Then what is it that scares you?” Cherry asks.Again this forth eyes caught something Joe hadn’t; Adam is not behaving as he usually does, he lost some of his charisma and composure, lost his prestance since he stepped back and talked with Snake. Could it be true? Can Adam be scared of Snake?In a biblical way, it would make sense.*Simply the aftermaths of episode 9, the genese of Adam and how Tadashi played a central role in this, and how Kaoru moved in Kojiro's restaurant because he can.
Relationships: Kikuchi Tadashi/Shindo Ainosuke | Adam, Nanjo Kojiro | Joe/Sakurayashiki Kaoru | Cherry Blossom
Comments: 21
Kudos: 133





	To Each their Eden

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you will enjoy my incoherent thoughts after I watched episode 9. I needed to get my thoughts out of my chest. Tadashi and Ainosuke are so delightful to torture, and Joe and Cherry are so married.

* * *

# To Each their Eden

.

If the sight of Adam crushing his board on Cherry’s face doesn’t come as a surprise, Tadashi cannot say he’s unaffected by the violence of the impact, knowing how much he’s responsible for Ainosuke’s bad turn. All in all, it’s as if he had been holding Adam’s skateboard and knocked Ainosuke’s former friend out himself; the only difference is that he wouldn’t have gone for the face. that is awfully intimate, and Tadashi only knows the man by name and sight and through Ainosuke’s tales of their nocturnal adventures.

Ainosuke became Adam because of Tadashi’s mistake. His negligence permitted his father to discover their mischieves, his master’s only breath of fresh air, his _Eden_ as they called it. On this day, watching the ashes of their skateboards that had long burned out, Adam was born; they were to leave for America a couple of weeks later. That’s when the cruelty started. 

Tadashi still doesn’t truly know what happened in Ainosuke’s mind to snap like that. Ainosuke has never been an ordinary kid from the moment his aunts laid a finger on him, and his reactions are still sometimes so difficult to anticipate - his obsession over Snow is a good example of his destructive behaviour. Aino- no, _Adam_ is chasing for something he had lost, something Tadashi stole from him, and he’ll hate him for this as long as one of them would breathe.

Deep inside yet Tadashi feels a surge of hope, a seed of something warm that reminds him of the good old times; Ainosuke has changed and so much, but he’s not truly gone. If anything, the race against Cherry proved it, in his hesitation, in his mercy, even in the way he took his old friend down - quick and straightforward. Without cruelty, he crunched Cherry’s hope in an instant, broke what remained of his heart and their former friendship only for his own good; or at least that’s how Adam sees things now. 

When the last beef comes Adam doesn’t even make the effort of taking the cards off the box, as if reading Tadashi’s ‘S’ name frustrates him too much. It ends to everyone’s surprise by Snake’s victory, and an hour later they are riding back to the Shino’s mansion.

Tadashi expects yells and insults. Because he disobeyed. He’s ready for the punishment, he would accept it in any form; yet Adam remains quiet, as if he wasn’t really there - as if for a moment, Ainosuke took back his place, and he was an innocent teen skating with his friends.

How much Tadashi would want to see that smile on his face again. But they both know it’s impossible.

“You’re not parking the car?” are the first words his master delivers, and are deprived of any kind of sentiment. It's just a plain observation.

“I’ll be right back.”

Tadashi leaves his master bemused in front of the front door and drives to the hospital.

  
  


* * *

Joe couldn’t watch Miya’s duel, but a text from Shadow told him he had lost. 

As soon as Cherry’s beef ended he had jumped on his motorbike and reached him. Adam abandoned him on the road, totally, cruelly, without a second thought. He was barely conscious when Joe found him.

The nurse says he’ll be alright with a night rest, and that there is no need for him to stay. They found a room, he’ll have a check up tomorrow morning and then, he’ll be able to go. Kojiro sits next to him for the remaining hour nonetheless just because he wants to, because he can, and he watches Kaoru’s sleeping face as if it had been so close to breaking.

He doesn’t seem to suffer. Is he dreaming? Of a time when they were all friends, before Adam left them.

“Mister,” the nurse is back at the door. “There’s someone for him.”

Kojiro stands up, expecting one of the boys to visit and preparing a sermon considering the late hour but it’s not Langa, or Miya, or Shadow that appears, but a man he has never seen before, and who for some reason looks awfully familiar - but there’s no way he would have forgotten a face with such a judiciously placed mole. He’s wearing a suit that cost perhaps more than the entirety of his wardrobe; is he one of Kaoru’s clients? If so, how come he knows he’s there, and what happened to him?

He must have been at the tournament, that’s the only explanation.

“Who are you?”

“It is not important. I do not know any of you and you’ll never know who I am either.” Says the man, in a voice which monotony is only matched with the one of his gaze. “I just came here to apologize for what happened.”

Kojiro looks back at Kaoru. He’s still resting. Could that guy be...connected to Adam?

Without his permission the man sits on the chair next to Kaoru’s bed. “Is he hurt badly?”

“No.” The man speaks as if he were worried, Kojiro doesn’t really like that - it’s like he expected worse. “Physically speaking at least.”

“Ainosuke sama doesn’t know how to show his love anymore. Only the remanence of his childhood remains.” The man takes Kaoru’s wrist and whispers, “Sorry. This is only my fault. You had nothing to do with this.”

Kojiro has stood up from the bed at the gesture, but even in the darkness of the hospital room, the moon enlightens the man’s face and the sorrow in his eyes that had been so dull earlier. He halts. There’s no threat emanating from this man, only sadness.

“I should also apologize to you. I took Ainosuke sama away from you too.” 

There’s something quite puzzling in watching a man he barely knows invading such an intimate moment of his Kojiro’s life, and saying such painful, personal and harsh truth to his face. 

“I am not a fool enough to ask for your forgiveness.” 

The man bends down before leaving. He closes the door behind him. Kaoru stirs at the noise.

“Kojiro? Is that you?”

“Yes.” He replies on the spot. Even after such a blow Kaoru’s voice is still clear, as if he hadn’t just woke up from this knockout.

“Who else?” Kaoru says with his usual provocative tone, and along with a smirk it always makes the charm; but there are way too many bandages around his head and limbs for Kojiro to forget the gravity of the situation.

Cherry lost to Adam. Adam hit his face with his skateboard. He hurt him. He called him boring.

If it was fragilized before, their friendship is now dead for good. Adam killed it. He killed them.

And he meant to.

“Who were you talking to? Using me to flirt with the nurses, I see. Low, but not unexpected coming from you.”

It takes Kojiro a second or two to figure out Kaoru is trying to make a joke, and he grins back at his friend. “Not my fault if they have great taste.”

“How much I pity them; they have no idea of how much of an idiotic gorilla you are.”

“Hey!” And they go on and on until the nurse comes back to ask them to be quiet because they are, apparently, other patients in rooms nearby that are complaining about the noise. But it’s not like they can stop, at least Kojiro can’t. He has to do it for Kaoru.

Because if they don’t fight as usual, then reality will catch on them. 

Kojiro has always known how much Kaoru admired Adam, even more than that, he might have loved him at some point - but he tries not to think about it too much, for the thought of Kaoru’s heart being taken and for so long is simply horrendous. He was there when Adam broke it the first time, and has been tonight as well.

To think Kojiro won’t be able to make him pay - he lost to Langa, in a fair game but still, he can’t help the bitterness. 

To think Adam would go for the face.

This is just proof that they have been, until then, living in their own version of reality, a version where Adam was still the friend they had known and loved, and where he could eventually return. This was the end of the journey that started eight years ago. Joe and Cherry were out, only the young remain, and all their hope resides on Langa’s frail shoulder.

Kojiro hopes he’ll sort things out with Reki. No one should skate alone.

Look what it did to Adam.

Kaoru pulls on the hem of his shirt. “Hey. Bring me home.”

For a moment Kojiro doesn’t know where he’s referring to.

“The nurse said you need rest. You’ll be out in the morning. I’ll drive you back!”

“What!? There’s no way I’m staying there - where is Carla by the way?”

“I don’t want to upset the pretty nurse, you see. Rest well, _Kaoru_ , i’ll see you tomorrow!”

“Don’t you dare- Joe, you stupid gorilla, come back here!”

But Kojiro closes the door and drops the act immediately after. This has been a tiring night, and they have very few things to rejoice for. Even if Langa won, he broke his skateboard and needs to reconcile with Reki if he wants to skate freely again. They all know Shadow is no match for Adam. And that Snake...who is he? Joe had been in the skating world long enough to know every geniuses, or so he thought; where does he come from? He’ll have to ask Miya and Shadow later.

Kojiro takes a deep breath. Others’ worries do wonders on his own; he can forget then the pure shock on Cherry’s face before the board hit him, forget how he almost heard his heart breaking at the impact, forget how after all these years, his feelings for Adam were still there despite Kojiro’s constant presence, and how it frustrates him still to know that he will never be enough.

But things are what they are; no matter how much Kojiro dislikes the truth, he cannot run away from it. Men are doomed to accommodate with the hardship they come across.

  
  


* * *

It’s a dream, a pleasant one.

Where Ainosuke and Tadashi are still children. When they are discovering the joy of skating. Ainosuke experiences the first falls and gets up each time. Tadashi smiles at him, always, he’s kind and his hands are warm like the sun against the bruises, and his eyes are softer than the eiderdown he rests his head on. It’s softer than the rules his aunts hit his arms with.

Childhood isn’t that bad with Tadashi by his side. Life, in general, is well, as long as they skate together.

There are moments in life that, even if they are dissimulated and lost, piled under more recent events and all the knowledge you’re forced to ingest at this very young age, forge people into their adult self, long after they’ve dissolved into their subconcious. They act like seeds; they grow into plants, flowers or fruits that look nothing like what gave them birth, and which original shape would be impossible to find.

Ainosuke and Tadashi used to skate everyday. There was a time when Ainosuke wasn’t so sure of himself. There were times when he didn’t control his trajectory.

He skates with Tadashi that day and somehow he finds himself in front of him. Their skateboards are about to collide, his eyes widen in fear.

But not Tadashi’s. He smiles, always; he opens his arm and Ainosuke falls into his embrace. They roll on the grass.

“Haha!” Tadashi laughs, carefree, they are children, they are free, they are happy, “It’s a love hug!”

Ainosuke’s face is hot against his chest.

The question is, who’s dreaming? Who remembers? And who thinks the other does not? 

  
  


* * *

_‘If it comes to that, you’ll take the blame. Everything was done by you as me secretary, on your own accord. I knew none of it.’_

_‘You may have forgotten, but I was the one who taught you how to skate.’_

_‘You’re going to tell me this after all this time?’_

_‘Of course. You have always been like that”_

_‘I will win against you.’_

_‘A dog cannot disobey his owner.’_

_‘Dissastisfied?’_

_‘Do you have a complain, Tadashi?”_

_‘No. I have no opinion.’_

  
  


“Damn dog.”

  
  


* * *

  
  


Adam waits for him in the entrance hall.

“Where have you been?”

Tadashi avoids his gaze and walks to his aile. “Parking the car.” He has been gone for an hour, he knows Adam won’t buy it, but since he entered the tournament Tadashi is not scared of what Adam can do to him. In fact, he had never been scared of him.

Only concerned.

Too soon a powerful hand closes on his wrist. “You’re not sleeping in there tonight.”

A shiver runs down his spine.

As far as he’s concerned, Tadashi would not describe himself as an insensible man. He’s been raised by his father, who had been a butler himself before, as his grandfather etc, etc. The family has always served the Shino and it was then natural for him to devote himself to Ainosuke, and thus to erase his own self in front of him. Tadashi _lives_ to answer all of Ainosuke’s needs and demands, and he always delivers. That’s just the way things are. He does not question. He only obeys.

That was before tonight. If he did not, strictly speaking, disobeyed his master, because in the end Adam didn’t tell him _not to apply_ \- but he certainly never expected him to - the shock was enough to catch Adam off guard. Tadashi knows his master like the back of his hand. He knows how much he loves to be in control, especially regarding skating and his Eden wedding tournament, and skating with Snake was not part of his plan. So of course, Tadashi is not surprised that payback is coming tonight. He’s used to Adam's proof of love already.

It still strikes him that after all these years Adam has no idea of how his mind functions.

It’s the same ritual. First they drink, then Tadashi sits on Adam’s lap. Adam slowly undresses him but shows no pleasure in doing so; instead he stares at his face as if he wants to catch the very moment he’ll snap and says it’s enough.

Tadashi never does. And it’s just like that, that’s how things are. There’s no deeper meaning behind.

“Undress me now.”

He’s scrutinized all the same when he methodically removes his master’s clothes. His hands are cold against Adam’s ardent skin, burning like his heart in search for the ultimate thrill, for his perfect Eve. They are tenderless.

He hasn’t forgotten old times; but he also remembers how things turned out when he got too much involved.

Adam’s mouth on his catches him by surprise. They don’t usually kiss, that is awfully intimate; it’s not for them, it’s not what they are. It’s surprisingly tender, it’s demanding, it’s needy. But Tadashi cannot really judge, he hadn’t had the opportunity to kiss many people in his life before.

Adam doesn’t know that. He knows barely anything at all. That’s why he’s doing this; he’s testing Tadashi’s limits. He wants to crack him up and make him bent. To know just as far his loyalty goes. Some scars are more difficult to heal and hide, and the one Tadashi’s betrayal left on Adam’s heart is gaping yet invisible to the eye of those who don’t know where to look. 

Tadashi has been staring at it since it appeared, and will for the rest of his life. He’s devoted to feeling remorse until his death bed, and to serve Ainosuke sama as best as he could to repent.

Adam bites on his neck. Caught off guard, Tadashi lets out a gasp. The sanction is immediate.

“Do you like it?” Adam says.

The way Tadashi looks back at him is the same as he always does. Only the blush of his cheek betrays their debauchery.

“...I-”

Adam kisses him before he can reply.

In the past he has tried all sort of scheme to break his composure, to test his resolve. Tonight Adam has never been tenderer, and yet he might have reached closer to Tadashi’s breaking point than he ever had before.

Because tonight it didn’t feel like Adam. The seed of hope blooms inside his chest. Tonight Ainosuke came back, and he made love to him.

“Don’t you dare think I have forgotten.” He whispers in his ears. It’s the middle of the night. He must think Tadashi has gone to sleep. “I haven’t. I will never.”

Tadashi has never wished to hold him in his arms more.

  
  


* * *

  
  


The morning after is painful. Kaoru left against the doctor's order and without any prescription. A couple of his face’s bones are broken and he had bruises all over his body. He can barely move a finger, so of course Kojiro closes the restaurant and takes care of him.

“You don’t have to.” Says the one who’s wounded enough not to be able to peel his clementine. Frustrated to see him so weak, Kojiro takes the clementine from his grip. “Tsk. Don't forget I-”

“Yes, I know, I’ll take off all the white. You fucking weirdo.”

Kojiro has a large bathroom. When he bought the place, he thought it would be the perfect way to make his conquest stay overnight, and perhaps a bit more. What a farce in the end.

Not the bathroom. The whole masquerade. Girls and chicks, whose long hair will never be as soft as Kaoru’s. 

Kojiro undresses him carefully and holds him in his arms, resisting the urge to unceremoniously throw him in the bathtub at each of his reprimands. The water is not warm enough for him, but it’s exactly how Kaoru likes it. His hair is dirty with mud and dry blood from his beef; Kojiro rans the shower head on the top of his forehead while Kaoru leans back, the back of his head against Kojiro’s thigh, he combs the hair with his thigh fingers. He whines when Kaoru hisses.

“Thank you.” Kaoru says out of the blue. Like he hasn’t been thinking about it for hours. “I’m glad to have you.”

‘You have me body and soul.’ Kojiro wants to say. It seems the perfect moment to share his thoughts on the matter they kept avoiding for years now. Adam is gone. He won’t come back. But Joe’s here. Cherry’s there. They have always been together. They will always be.

“You should stay here.” He says instead. He turns off the tap and reaches for his shampoo - cedar scent, but Kaoru will have to get along. “For now. While you’re still injured. Carla is not going to wash your hair, or peel your oranges just the way you like - even an AI cannot have this much patience.”

And this time Kaoru doesn’t try to laugh this off, or says it’s _clementine_ and not orange and that a cook should definitely know the difference. He doesn’t mock Kojiro or escape through their usual skit. He leans on Kojiro’s big hands, enveloping his head entirely. “Okay.”

There’s a cut on his upper lip. His right cheekbone is broken and purple, his eye is not any better. Yet Kaoru is never not beautiful. He’s breathtaking, has always been, and Kojiro wonders at times how he never told him. Lies are so easy for him to say when he flirts, but truths, when they matter, when it concerns them, never pass his lips.

“Good.”

It’s a sunny Sunday morning. They talk little but it doesn’t matter. It’s comfortable. Kaoru looks up to him when Kojiro rinses his hair, his golden eyes sharp as blades, and Kojiro is scared to look at them.

“It’s really just the two of us now.”

He’s glad he didn’t.

“Yes, it is.” It has been for eight years, but Kaoru needed a short stay in the hospital and a contusion to realize it, perhaps. Perhaps it’s not so much of a bad thing. Things can finally change now, Kaoru can finally move on. “But it’s fine, isn’t it?”

Kojiro feels his cheek warming up as he waits for his answer. The water is getting cold.

“...It’s not bad.”

Kaoru looks away when he replies.

And the next minute he complains about how it seems Kojiro has no idea of how to comb one’s hair or use shitty products and doesn’t put sunscreen and the ephemeral, yet delightful moment of awkwardness is gone.

It’s not so bad indeed.

  
  


* * *

  
  


Snow is not coming.

The semi final should have started half an hour ago and Snow is not there - the redhead that used to follow him around is absent as well. Adam has no other choice but to declare him out of the tournament, but of course he cannot. His Eve cannot fail him like Tadashi failed him in the past; life is not that cruel to the deserving.

Yet it is. It doesn’t matter why, be it because Langa couldn’t reconcile with Reki and his board is still broken as a metaphor of their relationships status, or because they did, actually, and figured out better than adults what skating is truly about, but he quitted. And it’s unacceptable.

Adam moves to the final. It’s up to Snake to join him.

(His beef against Shadow is a joke, a rematch of the qualification. It’s warming up at best. Nothing separates him from his goal now.)

Yet for a moment, Adam is nowhere to be found.

The crowd begs for the final, it chants Tadashi’s ‘S’ name, praises his skating and dares to call him a possible winner. Between this and the absence of Snow, of his original date, Tadashi understands well his frustration, and figures out why Adam is reluctant to show himself. This is not the dish he asked for, and he has no cook or waiter to blame for it. 

Tadashi finds him smoking a cigarette in the old factory. His hunch was right.

“I don’t want to skate with you.”

It was to be expected. He has never wanted him there. They haven’t skated together in years.

And last time they did-

“You need to step back. It’s an order.”

“No.”

Adam’s cigarette falls on the ground.

“I will defeat you. I’ll have you renounce skating.”

Adam smirks, then turns to him. He takes a step forward, a poor attempt of intimidation, or to corner him against the wall - Tadashi is not scared, he does not fear Adam. “Really? When was the last time you skated seriously? Not in forever.” Adam says that last part with spite. “I’ll crush you. You’ll be an easier target than Cherry. I wonder if your bones would crack as loudly as his.”

“You won’t do it. You won’t hit me. I know you like the back of my hand.” A certain advantage, since Adam doesn’t know him at all. “I’ll beat you, and I’ll stop fooling around - crazy rock, the ‘S’, we need to stop.” 

Tadashi has little time if he wants to save Adam before he’s thrown into jail in his place after all. Without him, the farce will hold no longer.

Adam grabs him by the collar and pushes him against the wall. “I’ll crunch you. I’ll break you!” He shouts at his face. “Do you want to know what happens to unobedient dogs like you?” Resonates in the empty factory like an empty threat.

Tadashi doesn’t want to think of what could happen to Ainosuke without him by his side. And he knows Adam thinks the same. If he wanted him gone, he would have fired him already, but it’s an eventuality that probably never crosses his mind. They grew up together and too close, they are like trees whose branches and roots curl around each other. Cutting one means sacrificing the other.

Tadashi holds his glare. Adam’s eyes are burning like fire, a good representation of his anger. Tadashi’s are as cool as ever, and it makes everything worse.

“I like you better when you have no opinion after all.” Ainosuke says. 

Only he knows it’s a lie.

  
  


* * *

The last time they skated together Ainosuke was a seventeen. Tadashi, a couple of years older, was old enough to drive him at night to meet with Joe and Cherry, to crazy rock and back, and he never said a thing to his father, who he was serving at that time after his own father died.

Before they came back to the Shino’s mansion Ainosuke often asked him to do a detour so they could skate together, just the two of them. Ainosuke knew too well Tadashi loved skating but couldn’t. His own father loathed his hobby and Ainosuke’s father followed, and so they had always skated in secret, in hidden rendez-vous that felt more special than anything else.

It didn’t feel the same to skate with Tadashi. It was always different.

And Ainosuke was puzzled at first when he met Cherry and Joe, but different didn’t mean worse, or uninteresting. As long as he had fun, and as long as he could go back to Tadashi, things were fine, things were okay, things were _good_.

“Adam?”

There was a garden next to the abandoned skatepark they found refuge in. Before they came back, Ainosuke asked that they lay in the grass and talk, moon gazing all the while. It was their ritual. They’d done it every night since they first skated together.

Tadashi was more than just his servant. More than his friend. Much more than a confidant.

These moments were his Heaven.

Ainosuke extended his arm up in the air, as if he was trying to catch the moon. “You don’t like that name? It’s perfect for me, I think.” The first man, who resided in heavens, along with his Eve. Yes, definitely, Adam was the perfect name.

Their Heavens saw their last dance. The last time they skated together. Ainosuke had just turned seventeen and he knew what he wanted. He was tired of waiting. Not when everything was so evident. Tadashi broke the rules to join him, he disobeyed his father’s order, knowing perfectly how serious of an insult it was to his position and to his father’s memories. The warmth of his smile and eyes couldn’t lie the affection he wielded for him.

They skated along and then Ainosuke turned, a 180° flip, and suddenly he was facing Tadashi with his arms wide open. 

Due to a sudden flash of a ten years old memory that resurfaced just in time, Tadashi didn’t try to avoid him. He welcomed Ainosuke’s embrace and they fell on the ground. They rolled until they reached the lawn and Ainosuke got on top. They had grass stuck in their hair, along with daisies’ petals.

Tadashi was breathless from the shock and their closeness. The sudden blush on his cheeks gave Ainosuke the burst of courage he needed. Their lips met for the first time.

“What do you think of my version of the love hug?”

Tadashi was silent for a minute, looking for the right words. He was never great at explaining his feelings anyway. It was the curse of being raised as a shadow.

“I like it.”

Ainosuke soon realized they didn’t need to come here to feel so much at peace, and that they didn’t even need to skate to be happy; walking hand in hand and bringing Tadashi silently to his bedroom is enough.

Tadashi would always be more than his secretary.

The next morning AInosuke’s father caught Tadashi going back to his bedroom wearing half his clothes and with a hickey on his neck. They never skated together after that.

  
  


* * *

Once more, Joe’s hunch turned to be right.

“Why don’t you want to skate with him?”

He was right to have followed Snake back there. And of course, Cherry isn’t there to witness his feat! How can he say his hunches are always bad if he keeps missing half of them?

The man in front of Adam is wearing Snake’s clothes but his face is the one of the man he saw at the hospital yesterday. It doesn’t help Joe one bit to uncover his identity though, his hunch stops there. Nothing to brag about to Cherry in the end.

Speaking of the devil, Joe hears the AI wheelchair coming their way. Adam gasps at the sight. Snake bows humbly. The gesture is somehow familiar.

“If you only wanted to skate against Langa you shouldn’t have held a tournament.” Cherry says coldly, as if he hadn’t spent the night sleeping like a baby in Joe’s arms after sobbing the whole afternoon while watching his favourite movie and eating chocolate and sakura flavour ice cream. Joe won’t judge; everyone has their own coping mechanism. He just thought it was the glass of wine they shared together on most nights.

Adam is visibly angry at the sudden appearance but it’s not of the same kind he bore earlier. There was something more visceral in the way he glared at Snake, more intimate, and Joe almost felt jealous for a second. As if he cares about that man way more than he lets appear, as if Snake is important, more than them, more than what they used to be.

He seems so gentle and delicate; how can he keep working for Adam?

“I don’t care about what you think. This is my tournament.” Adam turns back to Snake. “You’ll step down as I ask you to, damn _dog_.”

Joe frowns, his hunch needs some ajustement it seems. “Are you so scared of losing to him?”

“Ha! Not a chance!” He replies on the stop.

“Then what is it that scares you?” Cherry asks.

Again this forth eyes caught something Joe hadn’t; Adam is not behaving as he usually does, he lost some of his charisma and composure, lost his prestance since he stepped back and talked with Snake. Could it be true? Can Adam be scared of Snake?

In a biblical way, it would make sense.

“Enough of this. Get out of my sight. You interest me no longer. I thought I made myself clear yesterday.”

Cherry flinches, but Joe’s got his back. His fist punching this stupid mask out of his face feels better than winning a beef.

“AInosuke sama!”

“You’re a monster.” Joe shakes his hand, the blow was hard and Adam must have felt it roughly. In an instant Snake is by his side, a hand on his shoulder, the other looking for his mask. It had broken with the impact, but Adam doesn’t need it anymore; they all know the evil he had become. “You are no more the man we’ve known. Goodbye, Adam.”

Cherry is a bit reluctant to follow on the spot, but he does anyway. He reaches Joe’s wrist when they are far enough.

“That man. It’s Tadashi. His driver.”

And now Joe remembers. When they were chased by the cops, Adam always had a car waiting for him nearby when him and Cherry always ended up at the police station.

So he had been there for this long. Longer than any of them.

“For what you did earlier. Thank you again.”

They’ve reunited with the crowd. Miya and Shadow run to them, probably curious about Adam’s whereabouts. Cherry still holds his wrist.

“You’re thanking me twice the same day! Incredible. Is it not going to snow, is it? I forgot to watch the weather fore-”

“Tsk.” Cherry hits his side and drops his hand then. Well, Joe deserves it. At least a little.

  
  


* * *

The final beef is incredible in all aspects at least for the first half. From an exterior point of view it’s just two guys incredibly good at skating, but for people of experience like them, it’s a festical. Who could have guessed Snake was this good, and anticipated Adam’s moves so perfectly? 

It’s a recital. A quatre main. It’s not a beef. These two are on another planet, another place only Langa perhaps one day could reach in years.

They arrive on the last straight line before the factory. Snake has the upperhand in speed and mental. He’s determined to win while Adam, well, no one knows what’s happening to him. It’s like he’s scared of skating faster.

As if he’s scared of his own feelings.

That’s when everything happens, so quickly and with an inexplicable outcome. Adam passes Snake, he's skating fast, way too fast not to be dangerous but he doesn’t have a choice if he wants to win. It’s a risky bet but if he takes the last turn right-

Adam makes a 180° turn. A desperate love hug - why doing it now, all of a sudden? Snake is too good to fall from the trick. He skates to well to-

He doesn’t dodge it.

Adam has his arms wide open and Snake jumps into his embrace, and Adam holds him there.

Joe cannot understand. None of them can. Tadashi doesn’t quite either, and Adam, even less. If anything, he’s the most surprised of all.

But they are skating too fast, and Adam doesn’t see the wall behind. Snake does, but his skateboard got lost during the love hug. He steps on Adam’s and spins, changing their position.

His head hit the rock first.

* * *

There are very few memories that hold a better place in Ainosuke’s heart than the first time he touched Tadashi, and Tadashi touched him.

Their inexperience shows differently; Ainosuke’s hands tremble with fear and eagerness, a precipitation Tadashi’s smile calms down at a simple glance. The skin of his cheek is impossibly soft and warm, and Ainosuke feels struck, so scared that he can only brush his fingertips against it. With infinite patience Tadashi takes a hold of his wrist and waits until he gets comfortable with the idea, of touching someone, of loving someone without pain.

Tadashi knows where the bruises are, and he doesn’t look at them. Even if they are in the dark, Ainosuke is infinitely thankful for his kindness. It is his most valuable virtue; Tadashi is even in all occasions, the good and the bad, he stands still in the storm and always has a smile to give and he’s constantly by his side. His presence is more vital than Ainosuke’s second lung. To the point where he wonders if he’ll ever be able to breathe without him. To skate without him.

They undress the other clumsily, giggling timidly all along. This is the sound angels must make when they are happy. Tadashi’s giggles. He’s never heard them before. To none surprise AInosuke is the one who initiates most things, the first caresses, the first kisses and sucks, and Tadashi reassures him as he moves down, and the pleasure he feels thanks to his touches appears evident as Ainosuke lowers a hand between his thighs.

This is exhilarating. This is way better than skating.

Tadashi’s hands are bigger than his. He strokes them both to bliss. After they reach their climax together, they forget to untangle their limbs from the other, they fall asleep in each other's arms, happier than they will ever be.

* * *

As if life was ever gifted of the most mocking sense of humour Joe ends up in the same hospital room than the night before. Another body lies under the sheet though, and another broken man sits by his side.

He has never seen Adam cry so much before - hence, he has never seen him cry at all. Stunned at first by the impact, it took him time to come back to reality and to realize Snake was still in his arms, and impossibly still. A drop of blood ran from his lips, he had bitten his tongue when his head took the impact and his skull was not doigt any better; before he could understand what happened Adam’s hand was covered in blood, red as the rose he loved so much, and which he would never stare at ever again.

After taking such a violent hit and without a helmet it’s a miracle Tadashi’s still alive; that is something Adam seemed to have understood before they could put him in an ambulance and since then, he had never left his side.

Joe is there because Cherry asked him to. Watch over him. He’s also there because Adam needs someone. He’s been wrong to say he had been alone all these years, truth is he was not, but since Adam himself wasn’t aware of his luck the result is quite the same.

And he might truly be alone now. Joe cannot accept that.

Adam sits next to Tadashi, on the bed. He’s holding his hand. He looks seventeen again. Kojiri takes a seat far from them.

“Do you want to talk about him?”

When he feels down, Joe finds comfort in talking about things he loves - about Cherry, and how annoying he finds him, mostly.

“It’s Eve.” Adam tells him. For some reason, Joe is not surprised. “The only one I had. The only one I want. The one I will never have.”

Adam does not talk much but his words are precise, and they are ones Joe had no trouble understanding. He tells him about their childhood, that Tadashi was the one who taught him how to skate, and how it all ended. With deception and regrets. They could never communicate again. Adam locked himself in the illusion that Tadashi’s affection only existed because he’d been taught so, and not because it was something he truly meant and felt in his bones, like Adam did. He thought of his love, their friendship, everything, unrequired and fake. Deprived of his only source of joy, Adam frantically searched for the same feeling in his chest that made his heart race the same way Tadashi’s smiles used to, and dedicated his pastimes to look for an Eve, knowing perfectly it had always been sitting by his side the whole time.

“But we can never go back to what we were. He doesn’t love me. Perhaps he never did.”

“How can you be so sure about that?” Joe asks. He adds, when Ainosuke doesn’t reply, “To me it looks like he cares about you more than you think. He got along with your crazy shit until then, he supported you no matter the path you chose. Only when he decided you were taking a road he couldn’t follow did he try to stop you; and this, considering what you told me, is true loyalty. He had always taken care of you all this time.”

“But how can I tell if it was out of duty or love?”

Joe has the feeling that, even without knowing what Ainosuke came through in his childhood, his former friend has a strange notion of how love works. “That’s between you and him. I cannot tell, you’ll have to find out for yourself. You need to ask him.” He stands up then, it’s late, and he’s obviously in the way. “Good luck, Adam.”

“He has no opinion. About anything.”

“Humans always have tons of opinions about everything.” Joe knows this too well; half of his clients seems to be eminent cooks or gastronomic experts. “Maybe he was taught never to express them, but I assure you that he has feelings, just like you and I. You just need to find the way to force them out. Listen, you have spent years trying to push him away but he never left you. Loyalty has its limits.” That love knows not.

Joe leaves without turning back. He won’t see Adam, nor Snake, in a long time.

When he comes back to the restaurant it’s only to find at least fifty boxes in the entrance, and men bringing some up to the first floor.

“Yes, that one goes in the bathroom. All these actually, bring them quickly, please. Oh, Kojiro.” Cherry rolls to him, his face unaffected, as if nothing was out of the ordinary when his restaurant was being invaded. “Make yourself at home.”

“I know you had it harsh and took a serious hit in the face and all, but this is _my_ home, remember?”

“Oh, don’t worry; it’s only small improvements.”

“Small? You completely redo the decoration!!”

“It was old school and had no class anyway. Don’t you like it better this way?”

“This is an Italian restaurant, not your AI nerd headquarter!”

“If your food was better people would care less about the decoration!”

“If my food is so bad why do you keep coming every night?”

“You offer the wine!”

Kojiro wants to hit him so bad. He pinches the tip of his nose. “I need to work out.”

“Speaking of that,” Oh no, what is it again? “You might not want to go upstairs yet.” Kojiro slowly turns his face to him, his eyes dead. “I might have occupied the fitness room with Carla and other prototypes. There wasn’t any room left where I could stock them. It’s only temporary.”

Kojiro’s hands freeze.

“You can, I don’t know, jog? Fresh hair will do you good.”

“My six-pack isn’t going to get any better by simply running.” He mutters.

“And look how primordial it is to your skating. You lost to a rookie.”

“What about the girls! How am I supposed to flirt with abs flat like yours?”

Kaoru raises an eyebrow. “Do you really plan on bringing girls here while I’m staying?” Well, of course not, but that’s not the point - ‘of course’? “And i’ll let you know my abs are absolutely fine and divine.”

“Ah, i’d like to see that with my eyes first.”

“You already did.” Kaoru says, a bit quieter and turns his head to the side. There’s a faint blush on top of his ear. 

He’s right; Kojiro took him to the bath, and he’ll do so until Kaoru can come back home and take care of himself without his help. The bathroom is unrecognizable; Kaoru brought perhaps all his hair products and it already smells of cherry blossoms. What are these? Bath salts?

“I’m recovering from a physical and psychological aggression.” That’s how Kaoru is trying to justify his action. “I need a stable environment.”

“I know, but you didn’t need to bring all your stuff here. It’s not like you’re going to be broken forever.”

The words escape his lips before he has time to think. It’s awfully unsensitive. Something only a brainless gorilla would probably say.

“I mean, you’re stronger than that.” He manages, after a while, when the silence is too heavy to bear. Kaoru has been looking at him with a glance he cannot quite read, and it makes him uneasy. “You’ll manage. You’ll recover, in no time. I’m sure of it.”

Kaoru still stares a moment, his thoughts inscrutable. “Come over here.” He rolls to the counter. There, two glasses of red wines await them. “I brought the wine.”

“I hope so, it was your turn.”

They mostly talk about the tournament, of course, because not talking about it would be a too obvious attempt of a flea, but surprisingly the words come easily. Kaoru doesn’t flinch when he mentions Adam, not anymore. They talk about Tadashi. Kojiro doesn’t mention what Adam said about him, about his feelings. They don’t talk about Eve.

“Why do you always stay behind the counter?” Kaoru asks him, the bottle is almost finished, there perhaps just enough for one glass - they’ll have to fight for it.

“I don’t know.” It’s easier to put an emotional distance with a physical barrier between them. “It’s where the glasses are?”

“Do I stink?”

“What? No! Of course no you always smell-,” he catches himself just in time, “Okay.”

He doesn’t see the faint blush on Kaoru’s face. He catches him sending daggers though.

“Oh. Okay.” He takes his glass and walks around the counter. “You know I saw you naked right? And you still have too much pride to ask that I sit next to you?”

If he hadn’t been wounded Kaoru would probably have kicked him, precisely on that spot just above his malleolus where it _hurts like hell,_ and which Carla is too good at spotting. Instead, when Kojiro finds a seat, he drops his head on his shoulder.

“We’ve been together for a while, haven’t we? It’s been just the two of us for some time…”

Kojiro doesn’t know what to say. Or think. His thoughts stopped the moment Kaoru’s head rested on him.

“Kojiro, can I really stay here?”

“Well, half your stuff is already here.” Kaoru tenses, he doesn’t know why. “I’ll be heartless to throw you out.”

They don’t fight for the last glass of wine. There’s a dull ache at the pick of their stomach as the silence stretches, and both realize there is something that must be said.

“You can stay as long as you want.” Kojiro follows his hunch, proud of the compromise he’s found on the spot, and of how it says very little but means much more, if not all.

“Thank you.” Kaoru murmurs. 

That night they shared the bed. The day after they put Carla and other prototypes on the guest room, and Kojiri got his fitness centre back.

  
  


* * *

Americans are very different from Japanese people.

Tadashi is glad he does not have to get involved with them, and just assists Ainosuke as long as he lets him, since he’s been quite difficult to handle after the incident with his father. First there had been the dangerous skating, sending a couple of people to the hospital and now, the parties, all the while ignoring Tadashi’s advice and concerns, and instead barely engaging in any conversation with him or acknowledging his presence at times.

It’s been a few months. It will pass. Nothing seems irremediable at that time.

Tonight’s party is filled with rich people that make the Shino look poor. The house is twice as big as the mansion back at home and it’s filled with teenagers that are way too young to be this drunk. Tadashi usually cracks the security camera and watches over Ainosuke from the car, parked outside, but this one is too old to be provided with some, and so for a change he had to melt with the crowd.

“Hi there hot stuff!” A girl only half dressed comes to his side and giggles before he can have the chance to spend her a glance, which he does not. Ainosuke is talking with other girls just in front of him. He doesn’t have to hear what they say, just to be sure of Ainosuke’s whereabouts. The rest doesn’t concern him, and it matters not to him.

“Does he even speak English?”

“He looks like a mortician.”

“Poor Ai! To be babysitted like that by someone so gloomy!” Tadashi tenses at the use of such a disrespectful nickname, but that’s just how things are here. He takes a deep breath. He doesn’t like it here.

Ainosuke doesn’t seem to be enjoying himself pretty much either. He’s been drinking more than reasonably acceptable for his rank. He started smoking too. These parties aren’t doing him any good.

Before the party dies down Tadashi finds the opportunity to extirpate his master away from a possible hangover Ainosuke would remember for years to come. He drags him to the car.

“Did you have any fun?” Ainosuke asks. A sign he’s drunk; they’ve never truly talked except for orders and to share essential information - small talk was not them anyway. It bemuses Tadashi so much he forgets to reply. “You could have had a drink. Would have loosened you up a bit.”

He tries to remain neutral but in truth, Tadashi is angry. Of the way things turn out. He’s frustrated, because they were happy and had it all and in the blink of an eye, everything was gone. If they had always known Ainosuke were to travel to the United States and Tadashi were to follow, he never thought it would end up like this, and so badly.

Silence stretches in the car. Ainosuke is impossibly quiet. Perhaps he had fallen asleep.

“Stop there.”

It’s in the middle of nowhere. Tadashi is not familiar with the whereabouts yet, it’s the worst place to halt - they could get attacked, Ainosuke sama kidnapped, who knows - yet he obeys. He wasted his hole card already.

“Ainosuke sama, are you feeling unwell?” Why would he want to stop here all of the places?

His hot breath on the crook of his neck might give away the beginning of an answer. It strongly smells of beer. “You should have joined me. People here are so boring. They are so vulgar. They aren’t refined...nothing like you.” The tip of his nose brushes against his cheek, sending a shiver down Tadashi’s spine, his hands tense on the wheel. “Gosh, it’s so complicated to be angry with you. I miss you. I miss your smell, I miss your smiles, I miss the way you used to look at me as if I mattered.”

Ainosuke runs his fingertips on Tadashi’s other cheek, his thumb stops on his bottom lip. He forces their eyes to meet. Tadashi is frozen in space, and in a time that belongs to the past.

“Kiss me. It’s an order.”

Tadashi ran out of hole cards a couple of weeks ago.

But for once, this order isn’t horrible to fulfill.

It’s their first kisses since they departed, since the first night, since everything fell apart. Tadashi is still shy and reserved, he’s the same as ever but Ainosuke’s not. He’s bold and harsh, and after a first, chaste kiss he takes Tadashi’s head in the palms of his hands and kisses him roughly. He sucks on his lower lip, his tongue invades his mouth and Tadashi doesn’t know how to breathe anymore.

It gets comfortable yet after a couple of kisses. Worse, it gets good and pleasant and oh, exciting.

Tadashi lowers the backrest when Ainosuke gets on top of him. He’s got his mouth on his throat and a hand undoing his shirt and tie. His hand sides down and finds his belt when he gets bored with soft whimpers only. He wants more.

“Moan my name.” He hushes in his ear. “Tell me how good I make you feel.”

“Ainosuke sama-”

A hand close on his chin, Ainosuke stares at him with something like rage in his eyes. “No. Don’t call me that. Call me Adam.” He says after a while.

Adam?

“Yes. You...all of the people.” AInosuke strokes him through his pants before breaching through his boxer. “You should be the only one calling me Adam.”

As soon as Tadashi is hard enough Adam takes down his pants and Tadashi cannot do much but follow him, helping him adjust their position before Adam takes him in. He wonders briefly if he ever did it before, and with you, and who taught him how to. The instant later Adam moves, and all thoughts evaporate.

It’s all over way too soon, but the pleasure was enough to make Tadashi lose sight of his responsibilities for a short moment. Ainosuke is still panting in his lap, his own come on both their shirts. Scared he might fall asleep on the spot, Tadashi puts the seat back in his rightful position, hoping his master will get the message.

Instead, he grips on his shoulders.

“Don’t. Wait a bit. I want to stay here.”

Tadashi doesn’t really understand what he means by that.

Long after their breathing went back to normal Tadashi is filled with shame. He did nothing but executed his master’s orders, but he should have had enough mental strength to stop him. Instead, he fell into this easy trap, and served his own interest before thinking of what his master needed. Ainosuke is lost. He needs a person of reference. Someone he can always count on.

And what they just did might not be the best way to start.

Soft lips run on his cheek. Ainosuke kisses his mole. “You’re so beautiful.” he breathes against his skin. He finds his lips soon after, the taste of beer still on his tongue. “More than all the moons in the sky.”

Despite his good will, Tadashi cannot stop kissing back.

“You’re the only thing I have left.” Ainosuke says, before he reluctantly gets out of Tadashi’s hips and back on the passenger seat.

Tadashi adjusts his clothes and starts the engine. He’s tempted to say that he only had Ainosuke for as long as he’s lived, but refrains from doing so. This is not his place. They are going nowhere.

“Drive me back home.”

Again, Tadashi has no idea of what he means by that. “Yes, Ainosuke sama.”

His master lets out a sigh of frustration he misses, his mind travelling to an abandoned skate park, with a garden filled with freshly cut grass and daisies.

The morning after comes with a hangover, and the expected shame to have behaved so pervertedly. But Ainosuke also remembers too well, just as well as Tadashi’s hands were still soft and warm against his chest, that he refused to call him Adam.

Eight years later, he still has to call him by the name he chose for them.

  
  


* * *

Adam is awakened from those unpleasant memories by a groan. He straightens his back and looks for Tadashi’s hand, his own is shaking. Tadashi opens an eye that is blooched red.

“...Where…” He can only say a word at a time, and his eyes don’t seem to focus on anything, even when Adam stands just in front of him. Has he gone blind?

“The hospital. You’re okay. Tadashi, can you see me?”

Tadashi turns his head slowly to him. He looks impossibly tired. “Yes, Ainosuke sama.”

The name still sounds so wrong in his ears. It’s not how he wants to be called.

There’s a moment of uneasy silence, as Tadashi is probably figuring out the wounds he suffers from, trying to estimate how much he lost, or almost did, and soon he’ll make the connexion with the man standing next to him who is entirely responsible for his deplorable state.

There won’t be any ‘Ainosuke sama’ anymore. Nor Adam, for what it’s worth. Joe was right, loyalty has its limit.

Can you love a man so much and be so close to destroying him?

Adam wishes his aunt had loved him with something other than hits and blows.

Suddenly Tadashi tries to sit, in vain. His head is too heavy, he falls back on the bed. Adam rushes to his side.

“Before it’s too late...I need to confess…”

And as impossibly as it sounds, Adam catches himself hoping that if loyalty indeed is not absolute, there are other things in life, and especially in human’s heart, that knows no boundary.

“About the perjury.” He adds, and Adam’s mind goes blank. “Before it’s too late.”

“You’re fired.”

“What?”

Tadashi’s eyes widen with surprise and pain, and Adam realizes bitterly it’s the only emotion he saw on his face this year. It is the same he witnessed the first time he called him ‘dog’.

“You’re fired.” He repeats, and it’s rather easy to lie and hide his emotion in the end. “What did you expect after you disobeyed me?” Adam loves a man who is ready to go through every sacrifice for him without flinching, and if it’s somehow everything he ever dreamed to have, now that it’s plainly exposed to his eyes, this reality appeals to him no longer. “Besides, how do you think you can fulfill your duties in that state? Because of you I’ll need to find a replacement on the spot.”

“I’m sorry, Ainosuke sama.”

“No. Don’t call me that.” Adam needs to sever their bond before it kills him. “You’ve lost that right.”

It’s heartbreaking how Tadashi looks entirely lost. He must think it’s an after effect of the hit, or perhaps he had never thought Adam would go this far - after all, no one knows better than he that Adam _needs_ Tadashi to function on a daily basis, because Tadashi does everything, literally. He simply is irremplacable. The same cannot be said for Adam. Tadashi will find another house to serve in the blink of an eye. There’s not a single thing he cannot do.

Except, perhaps, loving him back.

“Dissatisfied?” He says, because even if they need to part to protect Tadashi from his own ideal of loyalty, Adam is still a man who is reaping his own heart apart for the one he loves, but whom he can only seem to hurt. He needs to know what truly hides inside.

“I…” Tadashi struggles; he should have said he did not mind, and Adam is ready to leave the moment the words ‘I have no opinion’ pass his lips. But they don’t, “Yes. Very.”

That’s a nice change. After him entering the tournament it is the first thing Tadashi does on his own that betrays what he’s truly made of, and what Adam craves for. “I cannot say I am pleased either. You’re quite difficult to replace.”

“Then don’t.” 

Adam didn’t know rebellion suits him so well.

“I’ll confess anyway. You cannot force me not to now.” He sends him a daring look. “Can you?”

Giving Tadashi is freedom won’t secure him from doing anything stupid, but at least it’ll lift the burden of loyalty he’s been afflicted with since he was a young boy. But if Tadashi refuses to listen to the voice of reason, what does it say about his sacrifice? What binds them together now that his duty is gone?

“Tell me,” Adam sits on the bed. “Now that you’re not working for me anymore, you can speak freely. What do you think about me?”

He doesn’t call him dog on purpose. He doesn’t ask directly what he wants to know either. How do you feel about me? Do you still love me, if you ever did?

“I think you’re cruel.” Adam doesn’t know why he expected something different. “I’ve been working for you my whole life. I’ve done nothing but serve you in all occasions and despite everything you did, despite what you become out of concern for you, so that you’ll never be alone. But you’re the one abandoning me.”

“You disobeyed."

“You were so focused on Snow that you made mistakes. If your eyes hadn’t been set on him for so long, none of us would have had to go to jail.”

The remark is spoken without spite. It’s just a plain observation. It hurts even more.

For a moment Adam wonders if Tadashi is capable of being jealous. He leans just in front of his face.

“Do you hate me?”

The answer is too slow to come. Tadashi’s eyes are calm and without fear. He doesn’t blink.

“...No. I don’t hate you.”

And Adam cannot look away. He knows he won’t have more.

“Enough to go to jail for me?”

This time Tadashi’s answer is immediate. 

“Yes.”

He closes his eyes when Adam kisses him.

They gave wounds in each other’s soul that will take time to heal, but for the first time in years Ainosuke kisses Tadashi and he is seventeen again, and he is happy, and they are together. There is no master and dog, no secretary and politician, it’s just them. Tadashi’s lips are warm, his smile can still cure all his wounds, and he will always smell of roses.

In a few months they will find back their Eden.

“Tell me. Why did you refuse to call me Adam?”

Ainosuke has lied on the bed with him, his head on Tadashi’s chest. It’s reassuring. Everything about him is. How childish it was to think he could have him gone. They are like trees which would have grown too close to each other; branches and roots entwined, there is no way to cut one without killing the other. This is far from being a healthy relationship, but it’s still the healthiest AInosuke has known. He doesn’t want anything less broken.

“Because I hated him. He took AInosuke sama away from me. I didn’t want him there.”

Funny how a name that had been intended for them to be inseparable had the very opposite effect, and drifted them apart to the point of breaking. How much of a fool he had been.

If only AInosuke had spoken his mind more clearly that day.

“I’ll be Adam, and you’ll be my Eve. The skatepark will be our Eden, and we’ll be happy forever.”

If only he could say those words today.

“I’m sorry.” He says instead. He has lost the right to claim Tadashi’s affection, even if deep inside he knows Tadashi would beg to differ.

They stay in each other’s arms until Ainosuke is lulled by Tadashi’s regular breathing. 

  
  


* * *

The next day AInosuke stops by while Tadashi is having a CT-Scan. The timing is of course calculated. He enters the empty room only to leave a single red rose on his bed table, along with a note.

‘For Eve.’ It reads.

His new driver looks unsure. “Are we really going to meet that woman?”

“Drive.” He orders.

He doesn’t feel like talking to anyone else. Despite the hell isn’t about to face, Ainosuke feels incredibly serene; as if by putting his feelings, at long last, on paper - getting them out of his chest for the very first time - they freed him from a weight he hadn’t known he’d been caring for years. He feels lighter. Walking is easy. Even if his steps bring him to the police station.

But Ainsouke needs to repent first before he can be entitled to absolution.  
  
  


  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> By the way  
> \- Tadashi 'I don't hate you' is a reference the 'The Cid' famous litotes (which explains Adam's next question. I guess it can be a bit confusion when you don't know)
> 
> \- I used their real name / S name with purpose each time and especially with Adam/Ainosuke, I hope it shows and that it was not too confusing. 
> 
> As always you can follow me here [ on twitter](https://twitter.com/doctor_queenie)


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